The Hooker War
by Tobi Tortue
Summary: ZAFT Academy short. Yzak hates Zala with a passion. So what better way to fight the composed cadet than with love? NOT yaoi or shounenai, but revenge!
1. From Yzak with Love

**ZAFT Academy**

The Hooker War

Chapter 1: From Yzak With Love

Yzak Joule's blue eyes were burning a hole in his nemesis's back. He did not blink, nor did he move, except for the slight grinding of his teeth. A soft breeze came meandering through the nearby open window, and ruffled his hair, blowing a few stray silver strands into his eyes, and ruining—absolutely _ruining_—his concentration.

"Damn it!!!" Yzak Joule shot to his feet, his fist slamming against the desk. Several other students started in surprise, and one dropped her book. She hastily recovered it, setting it upside-down in her lap. Yzak continued. "Damnit! Damnit! Damnit damnit!!!" With each expletive, his fist slammed into the desk, making his pencil jump into the air and tap back down when he took another breath.

Of course, his nemesis remained calm.

Dark, shoulder-length hair swung slightly as he turned his head to the side. He looked so damn..._serene_. Yzak wanted to kill him on the spot.

"If you don't mind, Cadet Joule, I'd like to remind you that this is a _study area_, not a boxing ring. And your desk shouldn't be an opponent anyway. Save that for the Naturals." Nothing else in all the universe grated on Yzak's nerves like the cool voice of his only rival.

Athrun Zala.

It was only April, two months after the tragedy of Bloody Valentine, and two months since both had joined ZAFT. Due to the war, the training program was accelerated, and the two had already been selected for special mobile suit training. It was there, in the world of the simulations, that they had first clashed. Then, they both had been placed in the same group for emergency medic training. It had been a close call, but fortunately they hadn't been paired for resuscitation practice. Yzak probably would have strangled the other boy, and was preparing to do so at the moment.

"Give me one good reason, Zala, _one good reason_, and I swear you'll find this pen in your throat!" Yzak shouted, raising his red pen in his fist. After the echo of his voice in the small room faded, it seemed unbearably quiet. Cadet Zala took his time, and Yzak hated him for it.

"Please calm down," he said demurely, turning to face his ready opponent. He paused, allowing his pained expression to show clearly that he viewed Yzak as an unfortunate child who could not control his actions, and then continued. "I honestly don't know why you want to pick fights with me, and I'm honestly not interested." He then had the audacity to calmly turn his back to Yzak, close his books, and pack away his things.

"Fuck you, Zala. You know this isn't over. And you can't fool me with your 'I don't care' attitude!" Yzak strode from behind his desk and stood in front of Athrun as he got up from his seat, blocking his path to the exit. Finally, Zala's eyes narrowed. "Heh," Yzak smirked, finally feeling as if he were gaining the upper hand. Yzak leaned forward and hissed so only the other boy could hear. "I know that you're the one who set the sprinklers on in the West Hall yesterday morning, and I know you did it so you could have some extra time to sneak into Commander Kent's office and steal the stats for the next simulation." Zala's eyes widened, and so did Yzak's smile. Yes, today he was going to win. "So," he continued, his voice becoming a sneer, "if you don't want Daddy to find out, you'll stop pissing me off, and you'll play the game _my way_." Yzak looked triumphant and felt superior, but something about his rival's expression wasn't right.

He was sure that Zala should look more...more scared. Or just more upset.

But Athrun Zala smiled.

"Oh, if that's the case," Zala whispered, making sure that only Yzak could hear, "let me first inform you that not only do I know that you were the one who mixed up the officer's mail, but I have evidence. And I know that you did it to hide the fact that your paper on the new Zaku was half a day late because you took the morning off to go duke it out on the practice simulations with Elsman." Yzak took a sudden breath. How did Zala know _everything_? "So," Zala continued, his voice beginning to mock Yzak's earlier tone, "if you don't want Mommy to find out, you'll stop following me around and you'll realize that I simply play the game better." Zala smiled, knowing he had won, again. He stepped past Yzak and walked briskly out the door.

"DAMNIT!!"

* * *

By the next morning, Yzak was feeling remarkably better. Everyone who walked past him did so with a queer feeling sinking into their guts, because never, _ever_ had they seen Yzak Joule look quite so smug. He was almost _smiling_.

The rest of the mass of self-righteous, Natural-hating cadets continued on with their boring lives, turning in research papers, studying for tests, and practicing drills. Yzak Joule was, at least for this day, different. Rather than study for his Strategy test to take place at 900h, Yzak had spent the previous night calculating the best way to take down the only enemy that really mattered: Athrun Zala.

Not surprisingly, he had come up with a number of ideas that had to be instantly rejected. However much he wanted to, Yzak could not kill the other cadet. That would mean a blow to his reputation, expulsion from ZAFT, and probably jail time. And Yzak Joule was smarter than that. Nor could Yzak maim or otherwise injure his rival. So he had discovered that he had to fight back not physically, but mentally. Psychologically.

Yzak decided that he needed to get revenge in a way that hurt what he hated most about the other boy. After his roommate went to sleep, he made a list of what exactly it was about Zala that pissed him off. Slowly, he modified this list so he could clearly identify the piece of Zala that would get attacked, and then he decided on how to go about with the attacking.

Perhaps Zala didn't know that war had begun, but in Yzak's vengeful mind, it had. And this time, for sure, Yzak knew he was going to win.

His feeling of smug victory lasted through his Strategy test, and was beginning to downright frighten many of his classmates. When he saw Zala, instead of the usual fiery glare, Yzak _did_ smile...evilly. And the action had a bonus side effect: Zala looked worried.

Yzak's plan became reality as the final bell tolled and the students were free until the next morning. Yzak was the first to exit the Geography classroom, a horribly stuffy room (not because of the ventilation, but because of the combined presences of Zala and his cutesy green-haired friend). Young cadets were just beginning to spill out of the classrooms up and down either side of the hall. Perfect. Yzak moved to get a better vantage point, but remain inconspicuous. He checked his watch.

1700h.

Right on time, she turned down the hallway, and they clumsily made way for her. They had probably never seen the likes of her in their lives, for only someone with money could meet someone like her.

She strode down the hall like she owned the Academy, and her tall red heels clicked in a rhythm that undoubtedly matched the heartbeats of all the males in her vicinity. The high slit in her dress stretched brazenly across her thigh when she thrust her left leg forward. The crimson satin was cut low across the front, hardly leaving anything to the imagination, and was cut even lower across the back. No one doubted that the diamonds draped around her neck or clinging to her ears were genuine. Her lips were lush and pouty. Her eyes teased emerald mischief veiled beneath dark lashes. Her hair was nothing but dark curls coiled on her head and sensuous locks hanging down around her neck. She noticed the attention, and loved it, but it was clear that she had another objective.

She moved toward the Geography room, and then caught sight of her target.

"Ah, there you are, you little devil," she purred, her dangerous eyes lingering on the form of Athrun Zala. And they did _linger_.

Yzak smiled, because he knew that Zala was squirming.

"Excuse me, but um, er, may I," Zala began awkwardly. He coughed, attempting to buy himself some time to think. He looked down, and then looked up in surprise as his face flushed dramatically. She had taken several quick steps towards him, and now the slit in her dress was nearly brushing his own thigh. "May I ask," he began and then his voice shifted into a very embarrassed squeak, "why you are here?"

Yzak fought the urge to burst out into laughter. He knew that if he remained silent, Zala could only dig himself into a deeper hole.

"But, didn't you..." the woman began in a tone of mock surprise. Her hand lifted to cover the "O" her glossy red lips formed. Then she shifted both her tone and her bosom into a more teasing pose. "You little trickster. Don't pretend you didn't call me." She tossed her dark locks seductively over her nude shoulder and put on a show of pouting. "Don't you like me, Mr. Athrun Zala?"

Zala's face sped past pink and was firmly in the red. He waved his hands between their two bodies, and looked desperately to the side. "It's not that I, I, I don't _like _you," Zala stammered weakly, "it's just that—"

The woman smiled as if the cadet had just proclaimed his love for her and pressed herself against him, ending any of Zala's further attempts to speak. Several other students gasped, and a few laughed to see the usually composed cadet so flustered.

"Oh, you tease," the woman breathed, pressing her cheek against the top of his head. Of course, the height difference meant that Zala's cheek was pressed firmly against her smooth collarbone. "I can't wait to see where you're taking me." She drew back slightly and then her warm breath tickled his earlobe as she spoke in a low tone that every ear strained to hear. "I have a bottle of champagne, and now that's school's out..." she trailed off meaningfully. Zala stared back into her green eyes like a frightened mouse stares into the eyes of a large, hungry cat.

She tugged on his arm, and then began to lead him away. At first it seemed like Zala tried to resist, but then it became apparent to everyone that Zala found resistance quite futile. The cadet's eyes darted this way and that, but he was trapped. When the duo passed him, Yzak could see perspiration on his nemesis's brow.

Just as she turned down the hallway from whence she came, new life seemed to spring into Zala and he broke free. Breathing with difficulty, he took several timid steps backwards and then swallowed nervously.

"I'm sorry!" he yelled as his head hung in an embarrassed bow, his hands clenched at his sides. She looked at him, confused, and then took a step in his direction.

At the hint of movement toward him, Zala took off down the opposite hallway at full speed, shouting apologies until the door swung shut behind him.

The hallways, still filled with students, immediately filled with sound. Everyone in the building seemed to be laughing, many so hard that they had tears streaming from their eyes. The perfect Cadet Zala had been knocked off his pedestal of serenity by nothing more than a hooker. The laughter bounced off the ceilings and walls, emptied onto the lawns and pathways outside, and rebounded into every nook and cranny of ZAFT Academy.

To Yzak, it was the sound of victory.

* * *

Please review! If you like the sound of ZAFT Academy shorts, let me know. And there _is_ a second chapter to this! Thanks and I hope you enjoyed it! 


	2. From Athrun with Love

**ZAFT Academy**

The Hooker War

Chapter 2: From Athrun with Love

Athrun Zala's teal eyes avoided everyone and anyone, preferring to stare at the clean concrete floors of the Academy as he walked to class. Nicol Amarfi approached him, and the faint blush on his cheeks deepened and widened to his ears as he heard his friend's greeting.

"Good morning, Athrun," the younger boy chirped. He tried, vainly, to sound nonchalant. A passing group of girls burst into loud giggles as they passed the pair, each one glancing furtively at the cadet with the newly ruined reputation. Athrun winced as he heard the word "prostitute."

Nicol seemed to be fine pretending they weren't there. "So, maybe we could study for that Strategy test tomorrow at my house. My mom said that we'd be able to make dinner for you too, if you wanted," he continued blithely.

Athrun sighed, and felt his blush recede slowly. He concentrated on his friend's words, mentally telling himself for the fortieth time that he needed to just continue on as if nothing had happened yesterday, as if it hadn't phased him at all, as if a sexy hooker hadn't tried to take him home with her...

"So, how was it, Mr. _On-Top-of-Things_?" a voice drawled arrogantly from behind Athrun, drawing out the last four syllables so that the innuendo was sure not to be lost.

Athrun whirled around, his face once again the color of the uniform he hoped to wear at graduation. He found himself quite suddenly facing Cadet Yzak Joule, with a smirking blond behind him. The blond took one look at Athrun's face, and couldn't hold his laughter in any longer. Still very much in Athrun's face, Cadet Joule let out a laugh that walked the fine line between intense glee and maniacal superiority.

In that instant, Athrun Zala knew.

His eyes suddenly narrowed, and Joule sneered as he and his friend walked past the younger pair. Nicol was looking in the other direction, doing his best to make animal shapes out of PLANT's artificial clouds.

Nicol turned back to his friend, and took a sudden, frightened step back. A moment ago, he had been sure that Athrun was incredibly embarrassed by being caught in a moment of shame by his greatest rival. But now, Athrun's face took on a far more sinister calm than ever before.

Athrun smiled politely at Nicol, tilting his head apologetically. "I'm sorry, Nicol, but I'll probably be busy tonight, so you'll have to study on your own. Good luck. I'll see you tomorrow." Without another word, the premier cadet turned smartly on his heel and set off down the hallway.

To most, it would seem as if he had simply regained his former composure, but those who knew him well would understand just how dangerous it is to cross the star cadet of ZAFT Academy…

And just how dangerous it was to be Yzak Joule at that moment.

* * *

As Communications drew to a close, Athrun only let the hint of a smile grace his features. He did not want to appear _too_ smug, and tip off his rival. But he couldn't help feeling like the happy and all too willing hand of Justice. 

The bell tolled five times, signaling the beginning of the end of Yzak Joule's temporary reign as top cadet. It was 1700h, exactly, when Athrun stepped calmly out the door. He glanced down the hall and smiled. Joule couldn't get away now….

He held the door open for Nicol, who was following him, and then continued holding it open for the next person, who happened to be Yzak. As the cadet looked up to see who was holding the door, his blue eyes suddenly went from angry to fearful. Athrun Zala was smiling…politely.

"I think someone's waiting for you," Athrun sneered. He gestured to the hallway and had the satisfaction of seeing the normally pale cadet turn ghostly white.

"Oh, Yzak darling, it's _you!_" came a voice from the other side of the crowd. Cadets scattered, and left standing in the middle of the hallway was a man.

He was quite unlike any other man at ZAFT Academy. For one thing, this man was wearing a dress. And not just any dress, but a silky red dress that hung too low in the front (obviously because there was not much to fill up the smooth fabric) and revealed a broad and disturbing amount of black, curly chest hair. He had bright red lipstick, and he continually batted outrageously fake eyelashes. They _glittered_. He ran- _tickity-tack!_ -across the floor on high, strappy, red stilettos, and grasped Joule's stricken form by the shoulders.

Pulling the cadet's ashen form into a tight embrace, the man crooned in an abnormally high-pitched attempt of femininity. "Oh, darling, my wonderful darling, I just couldn't bear to spend another minute without you!" The man began to pet Joule's perfectly straight hair with a perfectly manicured hand. Joule began to twitch, and the color began to return to his face. It was however, the wrong color, as his face was turning a fiery shade of color-me-horribly-embarrassed red.

The man beamed at the young cadet, pushed a strand of dark hair behind his ear, and then poked Yzak's blushing cheek. "Awww, don't tell me you're embarrassed, sweetheart," he wheedled playfully. The man's face dropped into a mock pout. He continued poking Joule as the cadet began to shake outright. "Don't be Mr. Angry-Face," he said seriously, as every cadet watching the scene suddenly broke into laughter. Athrun chuckled merrily to himself, and elbowed Nicol. That was probably the point when Nicol understood that this was Athrun's doing. The younger boy burst into a fit of hysterical giggles, and watched the spectacle, admiring Athrun's tastes for revenge.

"It's time to be Mr. Sexy-Smile!" the man said, beaming far too hard. He finished with a smart little wink, which caused the fake eyelashes to sparkle momentarily.

"_Get…your…hands…_" Joule's voice began in a low hiss, "OFF ME!" He finished with a shout and a shove that attempted, but failed, to completely dislodge the cross-dresser. The man clung tighter as the panicky cadet struggled harder.

"But, _darling!_" the man wailed pitifully.

Joule finally was able to duck down and out from between the man's hairy and nude arms. He shot to the side and stood in a half-crouch, ready to bolt at any sudden movements. Looking extremely shaken, he slowly stood and took several steps backwards. Panic shone like wet tears in the furiously proud cadet's blue eyes.

The man in the dress tried to look forlorn, which raised laughter from the crowd of students. He batted the fake lashes again, and as he took a slow step forward, the cadet hastily retreated a step back. The man suddenly smiled devilishly, which caused Joule's eyes to widen and his lower lip to tremble.

The sight of fear on his face was priceless. It was apparently too much for one girl, whose knees buckled as she fell to the floor in laughter. A friend was trying to help her up, but wasn't doing so well, probably because she couldn't see from the stream of tears running down her face.

The sight of this, however, snapped cadet Joule to attention, and his face instantly transformed into a version of its usual self. Joule didn't look angry. He looked pissed off beyond comprehension. He turned his glare towards the man who had just tried to attempt a coy and seductive expression (and gotten halfway there), and many students were surprised the man didn't suddenly burst into flames.

"YOU!!" Joule roared, spitting like a volcano, "If you DARE take another step towards me, I will PERSONALLY see to your demise!!" Yzak Joule shook a threatening finger at the man, who took a step backwards, nearly fell over due to the heels, and ended up taking several steps backwards.

Joule took a deep breath, and then the rest of the students, afraid of being hit with the unusually large and sharp daggers Yzak was glaring, avoided eye contact as his gaze searched the crowd.

"ZALA!!" Joule screamed. The sea of students parted suddenly, and next to a clueless Nicol was Athrun Zala, standing there, chuckling slightly to himself.

"ZALA!" Joule cried again, but this time it was with the note of the predator who has spotted its prey.

Athrun feigned surprise, and took a step back. "But surely, Yzak…" he began, carefully changing his expression to one of horror. Nicol chose this moment to disappear safely into the crowd, although he felt bad for his friend. Athrun however, didn't mind, and thought that it was probably best that Nicol was involved as little as possible.

"Yes, Zala," Yzak Joule continued. He walked slowly towards the Chiarman's son, ZAFT's premier cadet, and his personal nemesis. "I know you're the one-"

And that was where Athrun decided to cut him off and bury him in shame forever.

"No, Yzak!" Athrun yelled. It was a damn good impression of horror, if he thought so himself. Before the silver-haired cadet could interject a word, or what was more likely, a howl of frustration, Athrun continued. "How can you _say_ that! That can't be true! I, I refuse to believe it! W-we hardly know each other! I thought you _hated_ me! Don't you hate me? And…"

He paused just long enough to give himself a dramatic moment, as well as to watch the confusion spread across Joule's face.

"I don't feel that way about men!"

* * *

The next day, Yzak could still hear the echoes of laughter that had followed him all the way out the door, to his home, and back to school the next day. It was the sound of humiliation. It was the sound that accompanied other, less fortunate people, his mind told him. It wasn't supposed to be for him. This wasn't fair. 

How had Zala managed to best him _again?!_

Yzak walked down the hallway, doing his best to ignore the faint chuckles from down the hallway that kept the echoing laughter of humiliation alive. His ZAFT heels tapped lightly, but also menacingly. He was prepared to smite anyone who dared laugh openly. The student body, however, knew this, and therefore only laughed from places where he couldn't be sure who was laughing. In a lot of ways, this was worse.

He turned down another hallway and opened a door on his left. The study room was empty, at least, so he could finally do something productive without having everyone laugh at him from the corners.

He sat down and pulled out a pen and his Strategy homework. After finishing the first problem, he got up and walked to the window. He opened it, allowing the cool PLANT air to meander in, and as he did so he heard the door open and close behind him.

Somehow, he knew who it was already.

"Uh-oh, should I let myself be in a room alone with you?" Zala queried in a way that let the underlying sneer shine through like the sun through the PLANT's windowpanes. His eyes were laughing, and it was the laugh that Yzak hated.

"You…fucking…bastard!" Yzak yelled, clenching his fists and striding between the desks towards Zala.

"You deserved it, you know," the cadet replied smoothly, dodging Yzak's first fist and moving sideways to keep some desks between them.

"Me?! I'm not the one who set a man-whore on a straight guy!" Yzak howled, his cheeks reddening at mentioning the incident.

"Well, you did call a hooker and told her your name was Athrun Zala," Athrun countered. "_You_ were the one to make this personal." He said this all very nonchalantly, although a blush did tinge his cheeks when he said the word "hooker."

"_Youre_ the one who acts like you're perfect all the time!"

"And because you aren't, that makes you angry?" Athrun asked coolly.

"You're dead, Athrun Zala! This time, you're _dead_!"

"You can't kill me at school, you moron!"

"Then I'm following you home, asshole!"

"And that'll work, because it's not like my father's on the council and I have a zillion bodyguards at home!"

"YRAAAARGGGHH!!"

Yzak lunged, toppling several desks, and Athrun scurried to the window. He nearly made it all the way out but Yzak managed to grab his ankle.

"Ha!" Yzak laughed in triumph. He shook Zala's leg, which caused the rest of the cadet to thrash around in the bushes. Yzak sneered with an uplifting sensation of victory. (It wasn't uplifting enough to raise Athrun, however.) He continued forcing Zala's face into the surely horrible-tasting leaves until he felt fully revenged for the day. Then he gave Zala's leg a huge shove, and the cadet somersaulted ungracefully through the bushes and onto the lawn. "Serves you right, you bastard," Yzak snorted with glee.

And Zala just looked over him and did the last thing Yzak expected. He _laughed_.

He didn't laugh like he was making fun of Yzak, nor like he was really about to cry and wasn't sure why he was laughing. Athrun Zala's laughter seemed someone genuine, like he had had a good time. He was smiling, and soon rolling around on the grass.

Zala's little side-kick seemed to appear from nowhere, and looked worried, asking if Zala was alright.

"I'm fine, Nicol, its just…" Zala took several breaths to try to calm his laughter, hardly succeeding, but he continued anyway. "I just got thrown out a window!" Zala cracked up again, and pointed towards the confused Yzak, who was still standing where the window frame made it look like a strange portrait on the side of the building. "I don't know why this is funny," Zala went on, "but it is!"

Nicol looked highly concerned. "Um, Athrun? There's a leaf in your hair." The boy quietly picked it off as Zala continued laughing. Other students were watching, from across the lawn, but pretending not to.

"Perhaps its just so…childish." As soon as the words were out of Zala's mouth, Yzak leapt through the window and was wading through the bushes.

"I _heard_ that, Zala!" The volcano roared again.

Athrun got to his feet quickly, waved at Nicol, made a childishly silly face at Yzak, and began running to the other side of the lawn, laughing. Yzak charged past the dumbstruck younger cadet, pursuing the fleet Athrun Zala.

"Stop running, you shit-face!"

"No Yzak! I really don't love you!" Athrun yelled with glee.

* * *

Well, please let me know what you think! Athrun may seem a bit out of character, but I don't think it's outside his range of reactions. And they end up being "friends" later, in the actual show. Thanks for reading!

And **special thanks to Yammit** for sending the first half of this chapter to me while I was in a foreign country. You would have had to wait a long time without him!!!


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